Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
