I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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