Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Randomize
