its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
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