I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
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