the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
