I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
there's paper in my vomit.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
then he tried to convert me to islam
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
