what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Randomize