covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Randomize
