You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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