now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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