I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
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i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
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