We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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