What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
