Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
