what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
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