I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
I'm having to shit out rocks
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