I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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