Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize