Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I just want to make out with him forever
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Randomize
