u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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