He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
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