I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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