AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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