you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
