Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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