idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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