You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
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