I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
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