You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
