the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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