yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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