someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
