maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
