u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
My brain says no but my pants say off.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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