This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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