Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Randomize
