Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
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