Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Randomize
