FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
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