i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
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i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
