What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
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