Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
