Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
She swung at the pinata with crutches
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
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