I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Randomize
