used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
