Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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