Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
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