Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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