How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Randomize
