its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
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