This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
my being single is dangerous.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Randomize
