and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
