i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
