sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
Randomize
