The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
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