i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
NoShamevember. You game?
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Randomize
