I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
