the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Randomize
