I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
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