This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
