I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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