Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
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