just come out here and I will go home with you...
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize